Two.

You were my favorite.

I knew I was yours.

Mom fought for me. But you saw how I hated her.


Momma's boy. That's him. Daddy's girl. That's me. It was the perfect arrangement until she saw past your cracks. Your odd habits. The way you hid things.

I thought she just hated you.


And she thought I was stupid, so she gave up.

She chose him, you took me. Like I said, it was perfect.

I was so happy to stay in our sewer home. With you.


I crawled into your bed that night. You held me. I smiled at you. And you looked at me.

I hate that you're warm. It's cold when you lay me back down on my bed.


I chose you, so I want you to choose me too.


It was hard at school. I hated my teachers. I hated other kids. I hated everyone.

When I came home, you were always away.


Do you know how cold it gets at night, Dad?


I liked the evenings you were home. I liked when you let me stay in your bed.

You didn't know I would lay there when you were away. Blossoming each time. Then rotting. But always more than the last.


Dad, I love you.

But if I never showed you my secret, maybe you wouldn't have shown me yours.

Mine was different though. It was something impossible. Like an old fairy tale.


You made my wish come true that night.


I can still remember how your rough fingers combed through my unwashed hair.

I told you about the boys and girls who laughed at me all through high school.

I was weird, then I was ugly. I was unlovable. They made sure I knew.

You finally looked into my eyes, telling me you were the same.

My chest bloomed.

And then I did it. I smiled into your lips, my secret finally revealed.


Dad, I love you. So much.

And I also hate you.


I thought it was perfect. A happy end.

The only one who understands me, holding my hand.

I make up half of you. The other half is just white noise.

Just for me, you fill it up.

Every single night.


But you just had to reveal your secret.

Maybe I'm selfish, but I don't care.

I just wanted to love you. But Mom was right.

I was stupid. I am stupid.

You are not the man I loved.

I fell right into your bloodied hands.

I learned that filth reaches. Corruption too.


I hate you.

I hate what you've done to me.

Now, I'm a monster like you.

I love seeing twitching digits, rolling eyes, and foaming mouths.

I love hearing wheezing lungs, rustling bodies, and gurgling throats.

It means I can understand you. See the world through your eyes.

Be like you.

You love me for what you've done to me.


A chip off the old block. I'm glued to your side.

Your home-grown right hand.

My womb is your blood. Your blood pulsing through me, but it's just not enough for you is it.


I see your cold eyes when I'm not what you want.

Sorry I'm not enough like you.

I'm afraid of blood, screams, decaying bodies. I'm just too sensitive.

Too much of a girl.

But, come on, my brother wouldn't do this for you.

I thought you liked me the best.


There. Do you hear it?

Daughters can be molded into any shape.

And you're stupid for not realizing something:

We can break if you bend a little too hard.

Hah. Are you listening?

I tried being strong for you.

Meaning, I became a monster too.


I don't know what it means to be a parent.

You return to a part of yourself when you fuck me.

I'm the closest thing to another "you".

You think you own me? Even wives have it better.


Fuck you.


I can't do the same to you as I am. But I can with what I found in your room.

This gun is my cock.

This bullet is my load.


Fuck you. Right in the head.


Don't look at me with those eyes. It makes me want to cum.


Haha, I lied. It makes me want to cry.


Stop.


I hate you.

I hate you.

I hate you.

I

I love you.

I love you.

I want you gone.

I'll miss you so much.

Please, please please.

I want to do this I don't want to do this but


I'm sorry.


I just wanted you to love me in the right way.


Don't. It was impossible the day you granted my wish.


Two bullets, perfect for both of your eyes.

My heart is leaking. So I shoot you once, then twice, in yours instead.


Now I'm the only "you" to exist.


Haha.


Hey, Dad.

Tell me now.

C'mon.

Are you proud?

Hey.

I'm just like you.

Hah.


I wasted the second one on you.

3-14-24, last edited 6-19-24